MIL Kept Referring to My Child as ‘Her’ Baby During My Pregnancy – What She Did at the Baby Shower Made Me Teach Her a Lesson
As Philip and Clara get ready for their first child, they never imagined that his controlling mother, Diane, would overshadow their happiness. Diane’s actions escalate into an unsettling fixation, ranging from referring to the baby as “her” baby to taking over the baby shower. However, Clara steps in to defend her family when Diane crosses the line.
I’ve always thought of myself as patient. Philip, my spouse, would likely contend that I am the most composed, clumsy, and calm person he has ever met. However, even my tolerance has its limitations when it comes to his mother, Diane.
I never imagined myself to be that daughter-in-law, arguing with her husband’s mother, but sometimes you have no other option.
We are quite excited about the arrival of our first child, a baby girl, which Philip and I are expecting. This has been on our wish list for months!
We’ve been organizing every aspect for months, from choosing names to creating a nursery that resembles a lush, imaginative garden. I foolishly believed that Diane’s joy would be the icing on the cake during this lovely, hectic period
It appeared harmless at first.
She called me practically every day to see how I was doing and to give me unsolicited advise on anything from stretch mark creams to baby names. She was overjoyed to be a grandma. Since our kid would be the family’s first grandchild, I first understood.
All of us were thrilled.
Her enthusiasm, however, began to feel… smothering.
It started with the manner she called the infant. Diane would refer to her as “my baby,” laughing off my uneasiness.
“Oh, Clara,” she would remark, gesturing with her hand. “When you become a grandmother one day, you’ll comprehend. There’s no need to get so worked up over it; it’s only a figure of phrase.
Although I made an effort to ignore it, her behavior grew more difficult to ignore as the weeks passed. She began making remarks about how we would raise the child, stating that the infant would require a second crib at her place and that she would spend “most weekends” there.
Her child.
I said, “Philip,” one evening while we were folding small onesies in the nursery.
Even though we lived in a large house, we seemed to prefer the nursery. All we wanted was to be in the same room as our daughter, who will soon be there.
My husband inquired, “What’s wrong?” as he picked up a branded onesie that I had once foolishly purchased.
“Your mother has been behaving as though this child is hers. It is strange. Too strange.
“She’s just excited, babe,” he whispered, planting a kiss on my front. “Clara, let her have this. She is not dangerous.
I took a drink of my tea and nodded. My gut roiled inside.
But when Diane said she was throwing me a baby shower, I wouldn’t describe it as innocuous.
Don’t get me wrong, it seemed sweet at first. Diane clarified that it was customary for her friends to have lavish showers for their daughters-in-law.
It still sounds good, doesn’t it?
Because we didn’t want the hassle of a wedding, Philip and I had eloped.
Philip said, “Sorry, Mom,” when we got back from our honeymoon. “However, we preferred to spend our money on our house rather than a wedding where we were only required to provide food and host a party for the wealthy. We required it to focus on us.
Diane now claimed that because we didn’t get married, we owed her this.
“Owe her?” When Philip told me, I inquired. “Really?”
Philip answered, “Let her do it,” after I expressed all of my uncertainties. “You and your pals are welcome to take another shower. Babe, it will keep her content. Additionally, none of the planning is your concern. You just think about the baby and the lovely outfit you plan to wear. “A deal?”
I reluctantly consented. Was there anything else I could do?
Diane dismissed my desire to invite some of my own acquaintances, making it apparent that only her pals would be on her guest list. Philip and I plunged ourselves into creating a registry even though I didn’t particularly like the idea.
Everything on our list, including the dreamy, whimsical accents, flower themes, and gentle greens, complemented our garden theme.
Something about Diane’s smile as she received the list made my stomach turn, even though she requested for the registration details to share with her friends.
From the beginning, the shower day was a complete bust. I froze the moment I entered Diane’s home. Stuffed elephants and lions littered every surface, bright red and yellow balloons hung from every corner, and a concealed speaker tinkled faintly with circus music.
“What… is this?” I whispered to myself.
Diane jumped in with a smile. She smiled once again as she glanced at my white outfit.
“Clara, welcome! Isn’t that cute?
I wouldn’t use the word adorable. However, I had assured Philip that I would be kind today. I forced a smile on my face while telling myself not to make a scene. I reasoned that perhaps the presents would save the day.
However, my uneasiness increased when I started to open gifts.
Every gift had a circus theme, including plush giraffes in small top hats, gaudy mobiles with spinning clowns, and crib linens with juggling monkeys.
My heart nearly stopped beating.
Philip eventually arrived from his job. His face reflected mine when he got there.
He mumbled, “What’s up with all the circus stuff?” and drew me away.
Diane walked over to us with a mocktail before I could reply.
She remarked nonchalantly, “Oh, I made a few changes to the theme,” “And the registry.”
Philip scowled.
“What’s changed? “What do you mean?”
She started off by saying, “Well,” in a condescending tone. “The garden concept Clara selected didn’t appeal to me. Is the youngster a fairy? It was so… dull. “My baby deserves a more enjoyable experience.”
Philip’s mouth clenched.
“Mom, we’ve already discussed this. Your child?
Diane responded, “Yes,” and folded her arms. “I’ll use these presents to furnish my baby’s nursery at home. For my buddies only, I even sent out the updated registry.
I was in complete awe as I gazed at her.
These presents aren’t really for us, are they? Are they for you? For your home’s nursery?”
“Of course,” said Diane. “Avoid being stupid. When my baby remains with me, she will require her own space.
Philip’s cheeks flushed.
“Are you serious now, Mom? You’re really inappropriate!”
Diane didn’t give up, though.
Her words, “Don’t be dramatic, Philip,” “I only have the future in mind. There will be times when Clara will regret becoming a mother, and she will require assistance. I’m glad to take over and fill in. This child must be aware of her love. by me. You ought to feel appreciative.
The remainder of the shower went by in a fog of embarrassment and rage. Like at circuses, Diane had even managed to get people to come in and create popcorn and sugar floss.
I made a choice that evening while Philip and I sat in our daughter’s incomplete nursery.
I firmly stated, “She doesn’t get to see the baby,” “Not until she respects our boundaries, Philip.”
My husband paused.
“Clara, I’m mad too, but cutting her off… isn’t that a little extreme?”
“No,” I answered in a shaky voice. “She will believe she can do anything she wants if we ignore this. Philip, she’s not paying attention. We must establish a boundary. And the line is this.
Reluctantly, Philip nodded.
We messaged Diane the next day to let her know that her actions were unacceptable and that she would not be permitted to be around the infant until she apologized and promised to follow our guidelines.
Her reaction was prompt and expected. She arrived at our home in tears.
She cried out, “You’re keeping me from my baby!” “How horrible can you be?”
“No, my baby,” I said for the record. “This is my child. You will not be a part of her life if you are unable to accept it.
The news wasn’t taken well by Diane. She used the other members of the family as weapons, posing as a distraught grandma who was refused access to her “precious little girl.”
Philip and I had to put up with a barrage of calls and texts for weeks. One of our relatives even suggested that Diane should file a lawsuit to obtain visiting privileges, accusing us of being self-centered.
Ignoring the commotion, we recorded every exchange in case it got out of control.
Diane wasn’t finished, though. She unexpectedly arrived one evening with a suitcase containing her clothing and baby necessities.
She said, “I’m moving in,” as she brushed by me.
Philip responded, “Oh no, you’re not,” and obstructed her way. “Mom, this has to stop.”
“I just want to help!” she exclaimed.
“We don’t need your help!” My voice was solid as I said. “We need you to respect your family.”
Diane made one last terrifying statement before storming out when she discovered we weren’t moving.
When she said, “You’ll regret this,” she growled. “I’ll make sure of it.”
We discovered a few days later that Diane had been circulating false information about us being unsuitable parents. I was far into my third trimester and had to sit down after 10 minutes of walking due to my ankles.
Was dealing with this woman truly necessary for me?
We were alerted by a mutual friend who shared screenshots of Diane’s correspondence with family members.
She is attempting to make a case against us. Then what? Will she take our child as soon as she is born? Clara, goodness. What is this bullshit? Philip cried out.
That was the last straw. We spoke with a lawyer, who helped us submit a cease-and-desist letter but advised us Diane had no legal basis for action.
Diane finally appeared to realize we were serious when she got the letter. In sobs, she begged Philip’s pardon over the phone, but it was already too late.
I’m saddened by the way things turned out when I look back.
I truly wanted Diane to be involved with our daughter’s life. But our family’s safety came first.
With the exception of the occasional nurse walk along the hallway and the gentle buzz of monitors, the hospital room was silent. Isabella was in the arms of Philip, who sat next to me. Her little fingers curled around his thumb, and she was only a few hours old.
As I observed them, I felt a surge of excitement and fatigue that made my heart expand.
“She’s perfect,” Philip said in a heartfelt whisper.
With tears in my eyes, I nodded. She was ours, and she was more than ideal. When she eventually arrived after months of waiting, the turmoil of the previous few months temporarily vanished.
But without my permission, Diane’s visage intruded into my thoughts. Her excessive behavior, her possessiveness, and her attempt to turn our family against us were all things that crossed my mind.
Even though everything seemed so far away from this moment, its shadow persisted.
“Do you think she’ll try again?” Quietly, I asked.
Philip seems to understand exactly what I was discussing.
He looked at Isabella and said, “She might,” before giving her to me. However, we have this. This will not be taken away from us by anyone.
His comments calmed me down. I firmly believed that nothing and no one would upend the life we had created for Isabella.
