Am I Wrong for Kicking My MIL Out of My Home after She Came over to Do Me a Favor?
I thought I would finally get a much-needed respite when my mother-in-law, Melissa, came over to help with my colicky baby while my husband was gone. However, the events of those few hours caused me to doubt my marriage, my maternal instincts, and even her intentions.
Emily’s soft sobs came from the nursery as I collapsed on the couch. Not that I had the energy to answer immediately.
I still didn’t understand how folks accomplished this after three months. How did they manage to look put together while taking care of a colicky infant and sleeping for two hours at a time?
My shirt was a patchwork of spit-up stains, and my hair hadn’t been brushed in two days.
Earlier, Peter had called.
“How are my girls?” He had inquired.
“We’re surviving,” I said, bouncing Emily on my shoulder while letting out a feeble giggle. “You’re lucky you’re on the road and not stuck here with this little tyrant.”
He laughed. “You’re doing fantastic, sweetie. All you have to do is sleep. She may visit tomorrow, Mom added. Let her assist you. You must take a vacation.
Peter is that person. Even if the answers weren’t precisely what I wanted to hear, they were always prompt in providing them.
I didn’t have the best relationship with Melissa. She had a way of making me feel like I was always being judged, but it wasn’t that she was cruel or anything.
But the promise of a lovely, undisturbed snooze was too alluring.
“Fine,” I gave in. “But she can’t stay too long.”
By saying, “Thanks, babe,” “I’ll inform her. You’ll have one less thing to worry about because she’s also preparing dinner.”
Melissa, as usual, arrived on time at midday the following day. She carried a tote bag and a casserole dish as she walked smoothly in the door.
“Hi, Melissa,” I said as I moved Emily about in my arms.
“Oh, Alicia,” she exclaimed, yanking out my name as though reprimanding a kid. “You are pallid. Do you eat enough? You know, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
I mustered a smile. “I’m trying,” I said. “It’s just been a lot.”
Melissa’s bangles jingled as she stretched out to grab Emily from me.
“It certainly has. But parenthood is like that,” she remarked. “You ought to have seen Peter when he was a newborn. He sobbed for many hours. However, I never allowed myself to become so exhausted.”
I didn’t have the energy to snap back, even if I wanted to.
Instead, I gave her Emily and said, “Well, I appreciate you being here,”
“Obviously. “That’s the purpose of family,” she continued, softly bouncing Emily. “Go lie down now. You appear as though you might go down at any moment.
I told her, “She might fuss a little because she just ate.” “The baby monitor is in the nursery, and my phone is charging in the bedroom if you need me.”
She grinned and said, “Don’t worry about a thing.” “I brought up three children. I believe I can take care of my granddaughter for a few hours.
Despite the fact that her tone made my stomach turn, I nodded.
She mumbled, “Babies today are so coddled,” as I made my way to the bedroom. I’ve never been more concerned for my children.
I was startled awake by Emily’s shrill scream. I frantically reached for my phone to see what time it was, but it wasn’t on the nightstand where I had left it, and my pulse was pounding. The screen of the baby monitor was also black.
I pushed off the sheets right away and ran to her room.
Emily had been left alone in her cot and was screaming.
Whispering, “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” I gathered her in my arms.
I attempted to comfort her, but her screams crushed my heart. Melissa hadn’t even changed Emily’s diaper by then, I realized.
Without hesitation, I snatched the diaper bag from the corner and struggled to find a fresh diaper and wipes. I couldn’t stop the questions from running through my head as I changed her.
Why hadn’t Melissa visited to see how she was doing? What happened to my phone?
I carried Emily with me while I searched the home after she was settled. There was nobody in the kitchen. So was the living room.
Then I noticed a movement outside the window of the kitchen. She was the one.
Melissa was standing outside, holding the phone to her ear and giggling.
What on earth? I pondered.
I returned Emily to her crib.
I smiled, “I’ll be right back, baby,” and set her favorite plush toy next to her. She shouldn’t have witnessed our argument.
I rushed to the rear door and flung it open after that.
“Melissa!” I exclaimed.
She almost dropped the phone as she jumped. “Alicia, oh. You’re conscious.”
“Why was my daughter crying while you’re out here on the phone?” I insisted. “And why do you have my phone?”
Melissa inhaled deeply.
She stated, “I was talking to Peter,” as if it were the most apparent thing in the world. “I answered your phone when he called. I took it outside so I wouldn’t wake you.”
“You unplugged the baby monitor too, didn’t you?” I lost my temper. “That’s why I didn’t hear her crying.”
Melissa let out a sigh, like though I were the one acting irrationally.
“Yes, I disconnected it. You needed to sleep, and I feared that she may wake you up if she sobbed. But when I went outside, she wasn’t crying.
I was aware that she would not own up to her error.
“How long have you been on the phone?” I insisted.
Melissa took a quick look at the screen. She said, “Thirty-seven minutes,” as though it didn’t exist.
It’s been 37 minutes. Whoa.
“You gave her thirty-seven minutes to herself? Are you aware of your actions? When I took her up, she was crying.”
With a protective tone now, Melissa shot back, “She wasn’t crying the whole time,” Additionally, crying doesn’t harm infants. I think you’re overreacting, Alicia. You ought to be thankful that I’m here at all.
What I was hearing was unbelievable.
“Thankful? Melissa, you were meant to be assisting me. You took my phone instead, ignoring my daughter—”
She cut him off, “Well, Peter wanted to check in on you,” “And I was doing you a favor by letting you sleep!”
I retorted, “That wasn’t a favor,” “You left Emily in there, unplugged the monitor, and took my phone. How long would you have been on the phone if I hadn’t woken up?
Melissa crossed her arms. “Alicia, you’re exaggerating. Relax.”
“I’m not,” I said. Melissa, you know what? You must go. “Now.”
Melissa’s gaze expanded. “What?”
“I heard you. Proceed. I don’t think you’ll take care of Emily.”
“You’re not serious. Following all that I have done for you—”
“Leave,” I said again, interrupting her. “And don’t come back unless Peter is home.”
Melissa snatched up her handbag and hurried out, muttering something under her breath.
I walked back inside and fetched Emily up from her room. She continued to play with the toy.
“Mommy’s back, my love,” I whispered while embracing her.
As my mind repeatedly reenacted the scene, the only thing keeping me grounded was her gentle breaths against my chest.
Was I overreacting? I pondered.
After all, Melissa was Peter’s mother. She had brought up three children. But I couldn’t get Emily’s cries out of my head.
No, I firmly told myself. I made the correct decision.
Even still, I couldn’t get rid of the fear that was beginning to seep into my chest as I rocked Emily to sleep that night. When Peter learned, what would he say?
The next night, Peter returned home.
Emily was being bounced on my knee in the living room. I knew we needed to discuss what had happened, so when I saw him, my stomach knotted.
He murmured, “Hey, babe,” and leaned in to give me a cheek kiss. “How are my girls?”
I forced a flimsy smile. “We’re all right. We’re all right, but Emily has been a bit picky.”
He removed her from my embrace.
Softly, “Hey, princess,” he said. “Daddy’s home.”
I almost let it go for a second. I nearly forgot how furious I had been a day before when I saw the joy on Peter’s face when Emily held his finger.
Nearly.
“Peter,” I said. “We need to talk about your mom.”
His brow furrowed as he raised his head. “What about her?”
“She came over yesterday to help, but things didn’t go well.”
He inquired, “What do you mean?” “She said she was going to watch Emily and make dinner so you could rest.”
I said, “That’s what I thought, too,” “But she unplugged the baby monitor, took my phone outside, and left Emily in her crib for over thirty minutes while she talked to you.”
“She told me she answered your phone because you were asleep and didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Peter, she didn’t simply respond to it. She left our daughter totally unsupervised and took it outside. Emily was crying when I woke up, and your mother was laughing on the phone.
He let out a sigh. “Alicia, she didn’t mean any harm. She was attempting to assist you in resting. You’ve been complaining about your fatigue for weeks—”
“And you think this helped?” I cut you off. “She took my phone and unplugged the monitor. How did this assist, in your opinion?
He countered, “But you didn’t have to kick her out!”
“Peter, how can you defend her? after being aware of her actions?
He remarked, “She came to help us, Alicia,” “She cared about you and Emily, so even though she didn’t have to come over, she did. She now feels as though she is no longer welcome here because of you.”
“Are you serious? Are her sentiments more important to you than what she did?
“I’m just saying you could’ve handled it better,” he replied. “The entire situation makes her feel foolish enough already. If she never offers to help again, don’t be shocked.
The words caught in my throat as I opened my mouth to argue.
What was the purpose? He was not going to agree with me. But he never did with Melissa.
I murmured softly, “Fine,” and turned my back on him.
With another sigh, Peter took a seat beside Emily and rocked her gently. For a while, I observed him, sensing our growing separation.
I kept reliving our quarrel in my mind as I laid in bed that night. I might have been able to handle things differently. I might have been wrong to tell Melissa to go.
However, my resolve grew stronger each time I imagined Melissa smiling on the phone after abandoning my baby inside.
I wasn’t sure whether I had made the correct decision or ruined a relationship that I would later come to regret. My daughter deserved better, and that was all I knew.
Was I mistaken?
